Monday, May 15, 2006


lolz... 2 entries in a dae... dun normally do that unless there is a reason behind this... still remember the time when i wrote more then 5 entries a dae... those were the daes...
now same reasons apply when i wrote each entry...

---waiting for you----
i guess that is my decision... i choose to wait... cause of our promise... and the love i see back den... i guess that is a bad decision... but that doesn't mean not to wait will be a gd one either... neither choice i choose will be gd... i understand now... NEITHER... cause each will have its problems at the end... i guess no matter wat i said... u will be saying much more then me... juz let me say this... when u r waiting for a person... it is very very difficult... and when that person u r waiting for keep on spiteing u with other things... well... let's juz say that even the smallest things will spark off a quarrel... and worsen the relationship... i overlook the things and...do the wrong things at the wrong time... now both of us r at fault...

---fault---
i realli dunno who should i blame... should i be the one at wrong or is it u??? i think it is the both of us... maybe i have misunderstand u... and i realli hope it wun happen... now... it is like my angel is actually a devil in disguise... so i think i have done it... i have unreveal a devil from her...
and tok about blaming... i try putting myself in her shoes... and wat will i do if I blame i for all that... at den... i guess i will hide all my real intentions deep...deep into my heart... and never let this person poke into them... i tried saying i am at fault... i noe i am at fault... but everytime she tell me about someother guy... i will flare up and ignore all other damn things... EVERYTIME..OUR CONVERSATION WILL LEAD TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS... and she noe damn well i will feel jealous... and so... her intentions r easily decpihered...
---misunderstandings---
yeah... thats the word... we have so much misunderstandings that we dun even noe how to settle them... everytime i tried to settle one... she will juz say... suan le... nvm... i am used to it... and make it sounded like i am the bad guy here... so when will we settle our misunderstandings???
we did settle some of them... though none of them end in happiness... it will end in quarrels and quarrels... followed by more misunderstandings... oh god... when will we settle them??? er... i dun think we nid to... at the rate things r going...
---hurting you---
yeah... i said tons of times... i dun wanna hurt u... BUT!!! and that is a big BUT... can u stop hurting me too??? haiz... guess u will never understand... cause u r hurting me daily... maybe that isn't intentional... but i will never do the same to u... u said when ppl hurt u... u hurt them back... now let me tell u... i never hurt the ppl who hurt me... NEVER!!! I WILL STILL TREAT THEM WITH KINDNESS... THATS ME... AND THATS WILL ALWAYS BE ME... WHATEVER THAT I DO WHICH HURTS U I DUN MEAN IT... I NEVER MEANT ANY OF THE HARM... wat will u think if u have hurt the one u love deeply when u did not intentionally do it??? self hatred... remorse... disappointment... anger... helplessness... DID U EVER FEEL ALL THAT??? I FEEL THAT EVERYDAE!!!
---END---
i guess i did not ever get over her... lolz... EVER... i am now trying hard... and is best that way... seeing how things r going... juz hope she stop all those things she r doing... that will be bliss for me... realli... i will enjoy sch life much better... EVEN WITHOUT FRENS... i will enjoy them... cause frens which will stay by my side... i have already find them!!!

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 11:41 PM



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