Monday, November 06, 2006

Caring for others *new findings*

first and foremost... i muz target at casilda's blog entry on nov 3... u ask wat would we do if u care and like a person who doesn't shower the same care and concern to u...

i am actually wondering about that too... this past few days... ppl are always not putting in effort in making frens... and maintaining the relationship... once it breaks... they come up with all kinds of reasons to cover for their mistakes... yeah... this is human nature... u cant blame them for doing it...

but today... i realise a new thing... i would wan to help more ppl... but do i have a reason for helping ppl??? i ask myself... all this yrs i have been lying to myself that i have no reason to help ppl... but i juz help...

but today... i realise that i have a reason... i wan ppl to be closer to me... i wan them to understand me... i dun wan to be lonely... i dun wan to be misunderstanded... i wan to mix around with alot of ppl... i wan to be known as their good fren... i had a reason...

alot of things make me realise that... first... being that i am so frustrated and confused by my frens actions and their lazyness in putting in effort... second... being that i am always so happy and stuff when i am around with my frens... and of cos alot of things...

this whole period... i can say that i wan to change... change to be a more evil person... i dun wan to put in any effort already... nth works... putting in effort doesn;t return u any... so y??? all of the ppl around me dun understand me... even my parents dun understand me... they juz think that i am always that son of theirs 10 yrs before... i cried today... cried because i am so distressed and disappointed at their lack of understanding... i dun wan to be in that home... i told myself... i hate to be me... y cant i juz die... no one will care anyway... even if they care... they wun found out that the reason i'm dead is because of them...

that was my current feelings until this afternoon... i found out things that make me more clear wat i am gonna do in the future...

i wan to help ppl... i wan to see their smiles and recieve their gratitude... by helping ppl i become closer to them??? i ask myself... but wat for... i help ppl because i wan to help... i dun nid to be closer to them to help them... by helping them... they wun be closer to me... so wat for i wan to be close to them???

though i admit that i nid ppl to support me and stuff... but i always put others infront of me... wat i wan is my frens' happiness... not mine... or actually... if they are happy... so am i... i am weak... yes... but i muzn;t give up when ppl dun understand me and are distant to u...

helping someone doesn't always get something back... same for care and love... u dun always expected things back... of cos... when u are down and out... u wish for that person to be around u... to noe that u r down... but u cant juz expected them to be here for u...

i found out that ppl with lots of problems are often senstive ppl... like u and alicia... u guys are very sensitive to their surroundings... u guys notice things first hand... this often results in misunderstandings... i am like that too... i muz admit i am also sensitive... but i muz always stay postive... dun let things get to u... if they get to u... den bo bian... juz deal with it... there is little we can do alone... and changing someone is more difficult den u think it is... juz let time pass... and endure it through... u will become a magnficent person...





~~~~you dun nid a reason to help ppl~~~Zidane(ff9)
~~~i protect everyone... BUT WHO PROTECT ME~~~kazuki(busou
renkin)

~~~i am not a jerk... who will onie protect the ones close to him~~~
~~~i wan to protect lots of ppl but~~~
~~~i am not a superman... so i wun be thick and say that i will protect everyone...~~~

KUROSAKI ICHIGO (BLEACH)

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 2:56 AM



Tagboard section