Recent months-Lonely...
Well, months... yup... months. It's been months since i last posted here. And honestly, that would mean good news... It means that i haven't been having some real troubles with my life.
So when i blog now, it means im troubled. Over wat? My life.
I took a step back and i look... i cant realli see anything infront of me. I see no hope, nor future. Im lost again, lost in the labyrinth of life.
It's been too tired for me. Handling fansub and school together. None of my frens seem to understand me, and they become distant from me bit by bit. I don't blame them, as im not someone anyone can juz understand me without effort put in. I'm a deep person, maybe too deep, becoz of that, i'm always alone.
Even i don't quite understand myself. Sometimes, i feel like i have 2 personalities in me. One being the gentle me, always forgiving, always naive. The other, rebellious, cruel, violent and troublemaking.
I changed alot this few months, i don't know hw much i changed, but its a fact that i changed. I can't seem to find the motivation to do the things i wanna do.
I'm tired of guessing wat others are thinking about. Tired of everyone around me becoming strangers. I'm scared, very scared of being lonely. I don't wanna get outcasted again, don't wanna become alone again. I juz wanna have someone that i can talk heart to heart with. Someone that understands me, that i can say watever i wan to him.
I found one, but becoz of money, he avoided me. Becoz of money, i spoil this frenship of mine with my own hands. Sometimes, helping someone too much isn't good.
Somehow, it dawned on me that i need frens to survive. I can't be lonely, as i will be nothing if i am.
With that said, i don't know if i can still hold on to this pathetic life of mine, and remain the MK you guys know. I simply have no confidence on my future now, and motivation to do anything is naught too.
Let's juz wait and see?
Labels: Loneliness
posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 3:18 AM
Recent months-Lonely...
Well, months... yup... months. It's been months since i last posted here. And honestly, that would mean good news... It means that i haven't been having some real troubles with my life.
So when i blog now, it means im troubled. Over wat? My life.
I took a step back and i look... i cant realli see anything infront of me. I see no hope, nor future. Im lost again, lost in the labyrinth of life.
It's been too tired for me. Handling fansub and school together. None of my frens seem to understand me, and they become distant from me bit by bit. I don't blame them, as im not someone anyone can juz understand me without effort put in. I'm a deep person, maybe too deep, becoz of that, i'm always alone.
Even i don't quite understand myself. Sometimes, i feel like i have 2 personalities in me. One being the gentle me, always forgiving, always naive. The other, rebellious, cruel, violent and troublemaking.
I changed alot this few months, i don't know hw much i changed, but its a fact that i changed. I can't seem to find the motivation to do the things i wanna do.
I'm tired of guessing wat others are thinking about. Tired of everyone around me becoming strangers. I'm scared, very scared of being lonely. I don't wanna get outcasted again, don't wanna become alone again. I juz wanna have someone that i can talk heart to heart with. Someone that understands me, that i can say watever i wan to him.
I found one, but becoz of money, he avoided me. Becoz of money, i spoil this frenship of mine with my own hands. Sometimes, helping someone too much isn't good.
Somehow, it dawned on me that i need frens to survive. I can't be lonely, as i will be nothing if i am.
With that said, i don't know if i can still hold on to this pathetic life of mine, and remain the MK you guys know. I simply have no confidence on my future now, and motivation to do anything is naught too.
Let's juz wait and see?
Labels: Loneliness
posted by ~~~TsUbaSa cHRIS~~~ @ 3:18 AM
there is nth for me to say ba...
since some of u have noe me very well...
some of u will noe me abit... so wat i am realli is is all up to u...
