Tuesday, September 27, 2005

updated again

---to be able to smile when u wan to----
---to be able to laugh when u wan to----
---to be able to be angry when u wan to----
---to be able to cry when u wan to----
---to be able to say out when u wan to----
---to be able to noe that keeping things to urself is te most hurtful to urself and others----


isn't all this the common knowledge we noe when we r kids???

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 2:07 PM



Tuesday, September 20, 2005

working out...

name:tired chris
sex:have to go NS
mood:no mood la...so tired
char of the day:no char to tok about... all day working out...
weight:78kg

comments:

pain like siao... my arms and legs... have to start to work off my 80kg load le... realli tiring leh.... realli wan to buy slimming pills... LOL... no money... hahahaha... haiz... so now leh... every day do all that will die one ah...

plan...
  1. 400 sit ups
  2. 300 push ups
  3. 20 mins of air chair
  4. 5 laps around bukit panjang
  5. 1 hr of weight lifting
  6. 20 pull ups

now concentrating on losing my tummy and pumping up my arms muscles... leg and the rest will come next vacation... very hard... but have to try...

will die hor... but leh.. have to do all this... vacation 6 weeks left... if keep doing this for that 6 weeks... sure will lose bout 5kg... ganbette... akiramenai...

hope i wun give up... i muzn't...

------(hope that u can do it) is for the weak----

---(confident that u can do it) is for the strong---


posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 2:26 AM



Thursday, September 15, 2005

updated....

name:same
sex:male
mood:lame...now very scared
char of the day:scared... very scared...

comments:

i noe i create this post ytd... so i put in contents now...
time:02.03a.m
day:sat...18 sep 2005

juz finish watching the korean ghost show... alot of feelings after watching it...
now raining... somemore got thunder...
in the show... it is always raining... when the ghost kills... so leh... this heightened my fears now...
from small... i can see ghosts alittle... juz alittle... it is like i see them in the corner of my eye...when i realli wan to see them... they disappear... i am like si guan now... but leh... i still cannot stand it... when i finish watching a ghost show... den i see them... i would like freak out...
rain always accompany wind... with wind... my hse doors will like bang...
juz now... my door juz went bang... with my fear... u can imagine wat i did... i jump like hell... about a full 10cm in height... i am so freaked out by that show... now... a sudden bang... haiz...
as i was writing this... i see ghosts again... this time a frightening white colour...

to block the wind... i close my kitchen door... that door is translucent...so u can at least see the shape and colour... normally...it is black...(at this time cause now is nite) but suddenly... white juz come out in one of the corners... i turn my head but it juz disappeared... freaking me out le... now... i still see that white beside me... appearing...and disappearing again... i was like dun wan care le... my mood sort of like calm down le... so... i am able to (?)withhold(?) my composure...

i dun wanna deny the fact that i can see ghosts... it is a ability...and i dun deny my abilities... though i am not proud of it... i will still say when someone ask me...

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 11:43 PM



Tuesday, September 13, 2005

death??? or iszzit???

name:mk
sex:not female
mood:B.O.R.E.D
char of the day: L.A.M.E
song of the day:poison

comments:

back to wat we are toking be4... is there realli life after death??? i noe i said there is absolute hell or heaven... but a taoist will refuse wat i have said...

taoists believe that there cannot be complete gd or bad... in some sense... i believed wat they said...
without gd...can u ascertain wat is bad???
without bad...can u confirm something is gd???
u nid something to compare with... to compare between gd or bad... heaven or hell... den... i wonder back to myself... maybe that is rite...

anyway...it is not in my power to try to change something even if i noe wat is it about...so...i wun discuss it any further... cause i wanna keep this post short... so... on to the lyrics of POISON ---- (GTO)

poison
kanji

itsu made mo shinjite-itai
saigo made omoi-tsudzuketai
jibun wa ikiru imi ga aru hazu to
sameta me de waraikakete'ru
tamashii wo okasareta yatsu
namida wo nagasu itami wa aru no kai?
iitai koto mo ienai konna yo no naka ja
Poison
ore wa ore wo damasu koto naku ikite-yuku
Oh Oh
massugu mukiau ima ni
hokori wo motsu tame ni
tatakau koto mo hitsuyou na no sa
kaidan ni suwarikonde
owaranai yume no hanashi wo
yo ga akeru made katari-tsudzuketa
sarigenaku kisetsu wa kawari
muishiki ni shisen wo otoshi
nagasareru koto ni narete-yuku no ka
chiisa na yume mo mirenai konna yo no naka ja
Poison
jibun rashisa zutto itsudemo suki de itai
Oh Oh
jiyuu ni ikite'ku hibi wo
taisetsu ni shitai kara
ikitai michi wo ima arukidasu
kitanai uso ya kotoba de ayatsuraretakunai
Poison
sunao na kimochi kara me wo sorashitakunai
iitai koto mo ienai konna yo no naka ja
Poison
ore wa ore wo damasu koto naku ikite-yuku
Oh Oh
massugu mukiau ima ni
hokori wo motsu tame ni
tatakau koto mo hitsuyou na no sa
english

Always, I want to keep believing...
Until the very end, I want to keep thinking...
that there has to be some meaning to my life.
Smiling with a cold glare
Do guys who have had their very soul violated
really feel the pain of shedding tears?
In this kind of world where you can't say what you want,
Poison
I'll go on with my life, still being true to myself.
Oh Oh
In this moment we face it head-on,
we have to fight
in order to keep our pride.
Sitting on the stairs,
we went on talking of unending dreams
until the break of dawn.
The seasons change casually
I unconsciously drop my eyes
Am I really getting used to being swept along?
In this kind of world where you can't have even small dreams,
Poison
I want to always, always be able to like being who I am.
Oh Oh
I want to cherish
each day I can live freely, so
I'll walk whatever path I want.
I don't want to be manipulated by filthy lies and words.
Poison
I don't want to turn away from my true feelings.
In this kind of world where you can't say what you want,
Poison
I'll go on with my life, being true to myself.
Oh Oh
In this moment we face it head-on,
we have to fight
in order to keep our pride.

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 1:23 PM



Monday, September 12, 2005

fate...or isszit???

name:chris aka mk
sex:male
mood:bored/tired/fufilling
char:lame
song of the day:poison(from GTO...great teacher onizuka...not the anime...the drama shown on TV by takashi sorimachi)

comments:

though i say i dun wanna post any more comments... but i juz have to write it down... i dun think there is a song to say wat i am thinking...

FATE...
is it a result of our choices???
or is it wat we will do...and giving us an illusion of choice...

i keep thinking of this question since last year... i can't shake it off... cause deep in my heart... i feel that all is predestined... because.....

i seldom dream... and when i dream... it is more on wat who and how i am thinking in the day... but in my dreams... i dream bout the future... not clear... and not significant... i dream bout things like the feeling i have when i am sitting down and watching TV... it is juz so nostagic... i dream about that exact feeling a few months back... really...

one more vision i have is when i first come in ngee ann... when i come for the matriculation... i dream bout the exact convention centre... the exact place where i am sitting... the exact ppl walking past me... and this all i dream bout a year back... is it destiny that i should come in to this sch??

really... all this disturbs me alot... and let me feel so helpless against fate...
when i ask ppl bout this... they say... fate or destiny can be change...

den i question myself... when u dunno ur own future...ur own fate... how can u change it???
i mean... when u choose between coke or 7up... u tell urself...i wan to change fate... so u choose coke...giving up ur fav 7up... but...wat if...wat if... fate says that u are fated to choose that coke... cause that is ur fate...and u r onie thinking that u r changing fate...without noeing that u r actually controlled by it... so... how can i fight against that fate???

fate is a mysterious thing... it bring happiness...and it also bring doom... and in some sense... it is supposed to be like that... cause wat we do in the future is our fate for now... so... we choose to bring sadness in the future... and so... ur fate will be sad... so... to me... wat u do now... will not juz affect ppl around u... ppl in the future... and also... ppl in the past... though they are unknownly affected...

very difficult to understand... rite??? haha... well... i think like this sometimes... think more... and u can develop more...

den after all this i will ask myself... wat if fate is there... and u r controlled by it...

if fate is there...

wat the use of pursuing ur dreams...
that can be answered easily... to find out whether or not u will succeed... whether or not u will attain wat u r dreaming off... but if that so... the ans... is it really worth pursuing???

wat the use of living...when the purpose of all life is death???
that... i think alot... but den... i still find meaningfull...
though i am a taoist... i think like a freethinker...(maybe)
i feel that wat u see... wat u do... will let u achieve experience.... with this experience... u will be better prepared for ur next life... when i say next life... i dun really mean recarnication... i mean after death... i mean the life after death...i always believe in life after death... not juz recarnication...

in that world... things may be very different... maybe it is like hell... maybe it is like heaven... but i firmly dun believe in both heaven and hell...
the gd will go to heaven... the bad will perish in hell... this is wat humans.. to creat a sense of fairness is trying to create... a illusion... something which is not true...

LOL... i am sidetracking le... well... this i think i will discuss later... in my next post... i think...

P.S--- i will be posting the poison lyrics on the next post... cause this post is simply too long...
---so sayonara... ---

---life after death...death after life... everlasting life...everlasting death...can it really be attained???---

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 1:16 AM



Sunday, September 11, 2005

exam finish le...

name: same
sex:same
mood:nervous...fuking tired
char of the day: normal...dun have the strength to be lame
song of the day:last impression(gundam wing endless waltez)

comments:

i was thinking of not posting any comments le... cause i wanna say out wat i wan to say in song lyrics... more meaning ma... anyway... i think i will be... so i will be searching for songs to describe that days' comments... and post it up as song of the day... so on to todae's lyrics...

LAST IMPRESSION

kanji...

kotoba yori wakariaeru
manazashi ga soko ni areba
hito wa minna ikite-yukeru...
mayowazu ni jiyuu ni

ayamachi wo koete
kidzuku hontou no yasashisa
anata to mitsuketa kara
ai to yoberu tsuyosa wo...!!

I believe your love
furue nagara
kuchidzuke ni kasaneta negai
("anata" ga ite... "watashi" ga iru...)
wasurenaide itsumo...

I believe your dream
tsunoru omoi...
itoshisa wo inori ni kaete
kono kodou wo tsutaetai yo
atsuku hageshiku...
so far away

arasoiau dake ja
erarenai dare mo... nani mo
osanai te ni sashinobetai...
kegare no nai tokimeki wo

odayaka ni toki wo
kizamu komorebi no nukumori...
daremo ga idakaretai
zutto kitto eien ni...!!

I believe your love
akiramenai...kizutsuita tsubasa hirogete
habataku sora kagiri no nai
yume wo egaku haruka...

I believe your dream
egao misete...
setsunasa ga afuredashite mo
kakegaenai ima wo itsuka
hokoritai kara...
So far away


ayamachi wo koete
kidzuku hontou no yasashisa
anata to mitsuketa kara
ai to yoberu tsuyosa wo...!!


I believe your love
furue nagara
kuchidzuke ni kasaneta negai
("anata" ga ite... "watashi" ga iru...)
wasurenaide itsumo...

I believe your dream
tsunoru omoi...
itoshisa wo inori ni kaete
kono kodou wo tsutaetai yo
atsuku hageshiku...
so far away

daiji na hito no tame ni
nagasu namida... itami ga...
sekai wo tsuranuki daichi wo nurasu...
kono kanashimi wo tometai!!


I believe your love
akiramenai...
kizutsuita tsubasa hirogete
habataku sora kagiri no nai
yume wo egaku haruka...

I believe your dream
egao misete...
setsunasa ga afuredashite mo
kakegaenai ima wo itsuka
hokoritai kara...


I believe your love
furue nagara
kuchidzuke ni kasaneta negai
("anata" ga ite... "watashi" ga iru...)
wasurenaide itsumo...

I believe your dream
tsunoru omoi...
itoshisa wo inori ni kaete
kono kodou wo tsutaetai yo
atsuku hageshiku...
so far away

eng translation


If there are looks that communicate
better than words,
people can all live on
freely, not losing their way.

Overcoming our faults,
we realise what true kindness is,
because you and I found
a strength called love...!!

I believe your love
As we trembled,
we repeated our wish in a kiss
(You are here... and so am I...)
Please don't ever forget...

I believe your dream.
Feelings that intensify...
Turning affection into a prayer
I want to show you my heart's pounding
So hot, so fierce...
So far away

Strife alone
can never achieve, for anyone or anything,
this pure excitement I want to give
to young hands.

The warmth of the sun shining through the leaves
calmly marks the passage of time...
This is surely what everyone wants to hold on to
forever and ever...!!

I believe your love
Never give up...
Spread open your wounded wings.
Flying up to the sky, you sketch
a boundless dream, so far away...

I believe your dream
Show me a smile,
even though you're overflowing with sorrow,
since someday you want to be proud of
this irreplaceable moment...
So far away

Overcoming our faults,
we realise what true kindness is,
because you and I found
a strength called love...!!

I believe your love
As we trembled,
we repeated our wish in a kiss.
(You are here... and so am I...)
Please don't ever forget...

I believe your dream.
Feelings that intensify...
Turning affection into a prayer
I want to show you my heart's pounding
So hot, so fierce...
So far away

The pain of tears shed
For someone held dear
Pierces the earth, and drenches the land...
I want to end this sorrow!!

I believe your love
Never give up...
Spread open your wounded wings.
Flying up to the sky, you sketch
a boundless dream, so far away...

I believe your dream
Show me a smile,
even though you're overflowing with sorrow,
since someday you want to be proud of
this irreplaceable moment...

I believe your love
As we trembled,
we repeated our wish in a kiss.
(You are here... and so am I...)
Please don't ever forget...

I believe your dream.
Feelings that intensify...
Turning affection into a prayer
I want to show you my heart's pounding
So hot, so fierce...
So far away

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 12:09 AM



Thursday, September 08, 2005

things should be done... actions muz be taken

name:wang ming kang a.k.a chris(shifu)
sex:have something girls dun... k??
mood:doubtful...but...
char: lame... serious after that...later lame again
song of the day: last impression(gundam wing endless waltz)

comments:

till now... i dun even noe wat the hell is going on... at times i feel that i can get through u le... at times i dun...


suddenly... u juz float past me... i wan to catch... but u fly even more...

u never told me ur true feelings till now... but i am sastified... with the memories i have... it is a pleasant experience... things u shown me... things u tell me... i appreciated it alot... realli... at least that is a sign of u opening up... but... u suddenly close up... and i er... dunno wat the hell happen... so...that is that...

i feel i do wrong... but... i am sure of my actions now... no more indecisive actions... no more hiding... no more closing up my heart.... this is wat i truely feel... and the action i wanna take...(can u see the efforts i make to sustain this relationship??? i have make a lot of steps... all i ask is for u to make juz one step to opening up ur heart...)

i noe u are almost making that step... but it is like something that u nid unlock... u muz pass the key to others outside for ppl to save u... it is like the hse is on fire... u r in pain... i stand outside... i can't bear to see u in pain... and i wan to rush inside... but the prob is... i dun have the key... u have it... and there is a hole i trying my best to open up... all u have to do is to pass me that key... but... suddenly... the hole become smaller and smaller... but u can still pass it to me...

haha...u finally open up... but... not in the time... location and feeling i wan... now...u rather u be burn alive... and watever i say... the flames juz wun put out... finally i noe wat the fire is about... but... can i put out the flames???

well... things have come to this stage...

----i say i will learn... and already i am learning...---
---u never give me the chance---
---i give u plenty---
---to learn---

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 10:42 PM



Tuesday, September 06, 2005

eh... i feeling helpless again...

name:lamer
sex:hope i am a female
mood:down the drains
char of the day:lame on the outside...sad on the inside
song of the day:futari(meaning...us)

comments:
i realli cannot make it le.... WAT THE DIAOZ... my whole eltech i dun understand 1 single shyt inside...
plz.... someone help me... i realli is gonna drown le... i dun wanna drown in my sorrows... but... i can't.... i.... can u forgive me???

u say u hate every single of us(maybe)...i dun even noe who u toking about... i noe u r in pain... but i am too... maybe by reliefing ur troubles to me will be a greater pain...but at least i noe wat the hell is going on...
can u forgive me wat i have done???

i dun have the strength to dig out from u ur troubles le... so...can u tell me???
can u let me?? prod into ur troubles... maybe if i am the cause of it... tell me... at least let me noe who is the one behind all this... maybe i am the one... but... can u plz forgive me???

if i am the one behind all this...

i can onie think of one reason why...

because i tok to rachel they all... tell them wat we are going through now... i can't say i am innocent...i am guilty as charge... but wat i am doing... for whom did i do it for... i wanna find some answers... i do it for u...
i remember telling u i was not like this be4... my ex help me alot... i am not saying i nid her... but i nid someone who i can tok to when i am in trouble... when i am lost... i realli nid some answers... to wat u are feeling now... to wat u r going through now... so at least i can understand that u r going through a rough day...

---i noe i should not be doing that... but... can u forgive me???----

i am a boy... as u always say... we are phyisical beings... u r emotional beings... we can be emotional... but we can never understand fully wat u girls r going through... so i nid another of ur species to tell me... can u forgive me??? for wat i have done...

plz... forgive me... dun be like that... it hurts me alot... realli...

this is the 2nd op of bleach... i noe i have posted it once... but this song is wat i realli wan to tell u...

jap...


ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi yo
kesenai kako mo seoi atte ikou ikiru koto wo nage dasanai de

tsunaida kimi no te wo

itsuka ushinatte shimau no kana
usurete iku egao to kimi wo mamoritai kara
hibiku boku wo yobu koe sae kare
toki ni sou kaze ni kaki kesaretatte
kimi wo mitsuke dasu

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de
mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru
toki ga kuru daro

sabikitta hito no you ni

kasanari au dake ga munashikute
hitori de ikite ikerutte itta
arifureta yasashisa kotobajya
ima wa mou todokanai hodo ni kimi wa
uzukidasu

tsunai da kimi no te wa nanigenai yasashisa wo motome
Do you remember
itami wo shiru koto de hito ni yasashiku nareru kara
Drive your Life

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de
mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru
toki ga kuru daro

How can I see the meaning of life
kieteku you're the only. . .

kowarenai you ni to hanarete iku kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante
kotoba sou iwanai de
ima wa by and by mie nakuttatte subete
ni imi ga aru kara
kesenai kako mo seoi attekou ikiru koto
wo nagedasanai de
You'd better forget everything.
Remember. . . your different Life?
You'd better forget everything.
Remember. . . modoranai kedo
hizunda kioku no you na toki no naka de
itsuka wakari aeru kara

eng version...


Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Shoulder the burden of the past that cannot be erased; don't throw away your will to live

Your hand that I held...

Will we lose it someday?
I want to protect you and that disappearing smile
The ringing voice that calls me dries out
Even if it gets erased by the wind along time
I will find you

Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize

Like a rusted person

It felt so hollow to just pile atop one another
You said you could live on your own
Just with the usual kind words
You ache to a point where I cannot reach you

Your hand that I held searched for some simple kindness
Do you remember
By learning pain, you can become a person who can be kind to others
Drive your Life

Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize

How can I see the meaning of life
Disappearing, you're the only. . .

So you will not break, you distance yourself from me
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Now it's by and by, even if you cannot see,
there's a meaning to everything
Shoulder the burden of the past that cannot be erased;
don't throw away your will to live

You'd better forget everything.
Remember. . . your different Life?
You'd better forget everything.
Remember. . . though, we cannot return
Like in times of warped memories, we can understand someday



plzzz... will i lose ur hand that i held so tightly someday???

posted by TSUBASACHRIS @ 8:52 PM



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